Collaborative & Mediation Services
Our Collaborative Divorce Services
Collaborative Process: As a Family Specialist, provide support through roles of Team Facilitator, Divorce Coach &/or Child Specialist
A Collaborative Divorce Process allows divorcing and separating couples to put family first and reach creative resolutions without litigation. Both spouses and their attorneys commit that they will not take the dispute to court. This allows everyone to focus on problem solving and reaching agreements rather than litigation. In addition to collaboratively trained attorneys who provide legal guidance, spouses also work with Family Relations Specialists to address the family-related and/or child-related issues. The Family Relations Specialist can take on may roles, but most can be categorized into the following or a hybrid of these options.
The Collaborative Attorneys will discuss ways a Family Relations Specialist will function early in the collaborative process. The Family Relations Specialist is typically a licensed mental health professional.
Child Focused & Child Informed Mediation
Mental Health Professionals MAXIMIZE the Family Mediation Process
While parents often strive to do what is best for their children, their ability to make these determinations can be clouded by perception, self-interest, fear and other difficult emotions. What is “best” is an entirely subjective standard and difficult to define with any sense of accuracy or certainty when psycho-legal factors are contested.
Pre-Mediation Training: Teaches one or both parents effective negotiation skills and ways to make resolution-oriented proposals. Drastically increases the success rate of mediation with high conflict personalities.
Using a mental health professional in the pre-mediation and mediation process allows the developmental and psychological needs of the children) to be included in the mediation process.
When exploring options for child inclusion in family mediation, first determine the child’s stage of developmental readiness.
18 months – 5 years old
In these situations, Dr. Deters can provide parents and the mediator information about developmental needs of infants and children in two household homes
5 – 10 years old
These children may benefit from participating in the process, but are also susceptible to manipulation and prone to loyalty conflicts* Dr. Deters can interview the children) as well as provide parents and the mediator information about developmental needs of children in two household homes.
11-13 years old
Children in this age group have a simple understanding of the process and can verbalize their interests. When children reach ages eleven to thirteen, they tend to try to cover up feelings of insecurity and fear about the separation and/or conflict, often holding one parent responsible for the family breakdown. For these children in particular, participation requires guidance, assistance, and support from Dr. Deters. It is suggested that children this age remain in a room separate from their parents, with Dr. Deters, and have conversations with the mediator that may be taken back to their parents.
14-18 years old
Adolescents can benefit from full participation in the mediation process, providing them some ownership and a voice in the decision making process. While it may be unadvisable to allow adolescents full decision making power, they are more likely to support the mediated agreement after having had some participation in the process. Dr. Deters meets with adolescents prior to the mediation for guidance, assistance and support. Dr. Deters helps them to plan their proposals as well as their reactions to others’ proposals. Adolescents do well to meet with the mediator in a room separate from their parents as well as in the same room, depending on contextual factors. Dr. Deters’ presence at the mediation should be determined, in part, by the adolescent.
For ages 5yo-18yo, informal assessments can be completed by the child(ren) themselves and parents to ascertain the child(ren)’s level of psychological adjustment.